The only way we can achieve results through other people is if we maintain specific roles and understand the need for boundaries. When we define roles, responsibilities, accountability, ownership and private matters, we are creating boundaries. This is, in effect, strategic planning for your family business.

Family members must not meddle in areas for which they do not have responsibility. Failure to define boundaries between family and business often lies at the root of many family business problems. Boundaries need constant maintenance if they are going to do the job for which they are intended. You will find that well-maintained boundaries often provide solutions to family business issues.

In the entrepreneurial stage, we have a picture in our heads of everyone connecting and reporting to the president. In the end, this picture is impossible. The moment a founder can get past this, be a strategic planner, and put some structure into the business, the better the end result will be.

Those of us who have started a business know that at the entrepreneurial stage, we can fundamentally put our arms around the entire business. We also know that when we start, we are passionate about what we do, and would do anything to keep the business going.

As the business grows, it is important to understand that the solution to success is to open our arms and achieve our results through other people. Once the entrepreneurial stage passes, more structure is required to define how you, as the founder, will interface with the business and find solutions to family business issues that arise.

An important task of family business is to compound the assets over generations. It’s important to have clarity about your task. Namely, when you have inherited a business, your job is not only to see that you can live well, but to ensure that there is more there when you are finished than when you started.

After all these years of exploring the dynamics of families and business, what I’ve learned in family business is that most of it is grounded in sound parenting. The task of parenting is to raise responsible adults who have high self-esteem and who can function independently. In return, acceptance in the family is unconditional; we unconditionally love our children.

On the other side, the task of business is one thing: to generate profit. If you don’t generate profit, you’re not in business. Acceptance in business is based on competence, the ability to develop skills, and to produce and perform. If you cannot produce and perform, you don’t belong in family business.

Combining the dynamics of family and business often creates conflicting messages, causing a family to confuse the tasks and try to use the business for what they should be doing in the family—this is perhaps the biggest mistake families in business can make. Having and maintaining clarity between tasks in the family versus tasks in the business is the most fundamental piece of building a smooth-running platform for success.

Perhaps the most common problem in family business relationships occurs when there is a conflict between two family members, and one or both then involve a third family member, saying something like, “Do you know what Charles did to me?”

The third person should resist getting caught in the middle. If this happens to you, establish a boundary by saying something such as, “I’m really sorry he did that to you, but you know, you’re going to have to work that out with Charles.” This will save many headaches!

*This is the eleventh post in a series of 11 on The Ten Keys to Success in Family Business.

Families in business are notorious for their togetherness. But it’s essential to respect one another’s individual privacy, as well as the privacy of each family unit within your extended family.

If one family member steps over the line in asking you about personal concerns, it’s OK to say, “That’s a private matter.” Remembering this, and being conscious about respecting others’ privacy, will go far toward maintaining positive relationships, at work and at home.

*This is the tenth post in a series of 11 on The Ten Keys to Success in Family Business.

Family members who stay connected assist and support one another, especially during times of grief, loss, pain and shame. Even if you don’t like something a family member has done, you can still be supportive of that person. Families that run from the family member who’s having trouble don’t stay together.

*This is the ninth post in a series of 11 on The Ten Keys to Success in Family Business.

If you don’t have mutual respect for someone, you can’t do business together. This is a simple and ironclad rule.

Mutual respect is built on the trust that comes from knowing you can depend on other family members, and they can depend of you.

*This is the eighth post in a series of 11 on The Ten Keys to Success in Family Business.

Genuine caring means openly expressing feelings of concern for other family members. One way to let others know you care is to give them your undivided attention from time to time. That’s the best gift you can give to a family member. Taking time to write a postcard, give a family member a call or have a cup of coffee together can mean so much to that person. And you’ll likely find that it’s valuable for you, too.

*This is the seventh post in a series of 11 on The Ten Keys to Success in Family Business.

You can’t talk about business all the time. Essentially, families that play together stay together. Taking time to have fun together is like putting money into the bank in terms of your relationships with family members. When times are tough, you can draw on the currency. The enjoyable times can help family members sustain their relationships when there are differences.

*This is the sixth post in a series of 11 on The Ten Keys to Success in Family Business.